I am a radical unschooling mama, though it took me and my family far too long a time to find and learn the respect and trust required to follow that path. We are a family of strong-willed rebels, and even though we were all born that way, and have done tons of deschooling, we still have plenty of social conditioning to unravel.

Our family just doesn’t fit into a compulsory schooling lifestyle. We are too adventurous and curious and rebellious for it. Homeschooling was also hard for us. We are too respectful to resort to bribery and coercion to try to force our children to do things someone else says they should without question, and our kids are too smart to not see when something is pointless busywork. They have better things to do, as do we all. I refuse to be the always-resented and fought-against villain in their stories, and I don’t want to feel like they are always outsmarting me. I desire a real relationship with them that lasts well beyond the time they need me to provide for their survival. I love learning, and school subjects generally fall into that category. I truly enjoyed the homeschool curricula we chose, teaching it and learning new things from it, and we still use it whenever the kids want to learn what it offers. I would rather facilitate their individual education for their personal goals than try to force them into a mold we all know isn’t right for them. I want my children to feel successful on their own terms, not attain what society calls success and feel empty.

When first public school, and then homeschool, did not fit into our relationship dynamics, I took my love of learning and put it to work. I jumped down many rabbit holes, read lots of books and blogs, listened to untold hours of podcasts, and realized the ways I was trying to control my children's education, and therefore the ways I was treating my beloved children, looked an awful lot like training an animal. I didn't want to break my children to education and obedience the same way you house break a dog, or break a horse to the saddle, or break humans for mindless industrial jobs.

In my research, I also discovered the dark side of schooling, how and why education became required by law, and how good it is at fulfilling its purposes- which are not education and socialization, as they would have you believe (and promise to deliver, an oft broken promise). For more on that, I recommend reading the work of John Taylor Gatto, a short one called Dumbing Us Down, The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling, or if you really want a deep dive, you can read The Underground History of American Education, which is a huge doorstop of a book, best lingered over, one essay at a time; its great to keep you focused on exactly why schooling and its relationship dynamics are best avoided. There is also Weapons of Mass Instruction, which is about his journey as a well recognized school teacher as he realized what exactly his job required him to do to children.

We did a lot of soul searching, had a lot of long discussions, did a lot of deschooling, and made the choice to become radically respectful parents and radical unschoolers. We have never looked back, or had any regrets whatsoever. Not once.

If you want to read more of our unschooling journey, head on over to my blog post about it here.

We get to treat our children as whole humans whose thoughts, feelings, and desires matter. We get to facilitate a completely individual education for each of us, building our unique tool kits and skill sets. We believe education MUST be unique, based on a person's interests and needs, and learned in the way that makes the most sense for the learner. There is no set of knowledge that must be mastered by any age; everyone is worried about being a functional adult ("What do you want to be when you grow up?"), but what about a functional child, or teen? What might that mean? ("Who do you want to be, like today or next week?") We believe children can be trusted to learn what they need, when they need it, as long as the love of learning hasn't been destroyed for them (or has been allowed to heal since), and how to learn has been modeled for them. 

The journey away from compulsory schooling, authoritative parenting, and the social conditioning inherent to both, can be fraught with fear, shame, and other big feelings; lack of knowledge, misinterpretation and misinformation; critics and fanatics; obstacles and pitfalls.

Confronting social conditioning ingrained so deeply you don't know where you learned it can be intense, and feel like upsetting the laws of the universe. 

Or as freeing as breaking out of a too small cage... which brings different intense feelings.

You should never sail alone, especially in unknown waters, or hike alone in unknown wilderness. This is the same. 

There is no map, but I know the terrain, and I am a skilled navigator. I can guide and support you on your unique adventure, from your unique starting point to your unique destination. 

If you don’t feel good about training your children to unquestioning obedience with bribes and coercion, but either don’t know any other way to relate to them, or simply need help during the transition to respectful parenting, I’d love to be that support.

If you have even an inkling that schooling isn't the absolute best choice for your family, for whatever reason, and believe home education could be a viable option, I'd love to get to know you.

If you dream of withdrawing your kids from school, and have lifelong respectful relationships with them, but just can't get past the fears you hold, or the fears of your spouse, or your parents, family, or friends, I'd love to help you cut a path through that jungle.

I know how people learn (children ARE real, whole people, I promise), and how schools teach, and the discrepancy is staggering. I know children are not empty-headed minds that need filling, unfinished adults that need shaping, or manipulative animals that need taming. I've been through two intense deschooling phases (one when we left public school to homeschool, and an even bigger one when we decided to switch to unschooling), before I knew it had a name and was utterly crucial to both family relationships and home education success. I'll always be doing it. I've done the research and the inner work and the critical thinking, and I'll always be doing that too. I know how the social conditioning instilled in us by schools (when we were little, without our consent) triggers our survival instincts (which is why it works so well), and how to heal and reprogram our minds, hearts, and spirits. I know the pitfalls, obstacles, fears, and knowledge gaps that keep us stuck.

I am knowledgeable, insightful, experienced, and accepting of your unique life situation and beliefs. I have no ulterior motive to convert you to any specific beliefs or philosophies, I only want you to find your deep truth, have respectful relationships, and live fulfilling lives.

You don't have to walk this path alone, like I did (and the fact that you believe you *should* be able to do it *all by yourself* or need to be an *expert* to educate your children are socially conditioned traps, btw).

You don't have to let the deschooling process take years away from you and your family, like it did mine, although maybe it already has.

I am here to guide, mentor, and support you on your respectful parenting, deschooling, unschooling, homeschooling journey, to offer you tools and strategies to make this work faster, more pleasant, and deeper. 

If you believe we can work together to get you where you want to go, I'd love to meet you.